Workshop: And then it rains
About Workshop Poems: These are drafts I’m revising. One a month. Please feel free to comment. And check back in throughout the month to see how I’ve progressed with it.
February 2010 draft:
And then it rains
The birds do not sing into closed windows nor do they
They part the air in flight when it rains
If everything stopped what it was doing just to listen,
Would you hear the sun drawing to a close?
But when it rains, all day, drumming
Into the ground as if to right it
Nothing fights back nor shirks away, just me
In my house, looking out
Working revision copy:
And then it rains
The birds do not sing, but instead gulp air the wind,
as if hungry into closed windows nor do they
They part the air in flight when it rains
If everything stopped what it was doing just to and listened,
Would Could you hear the sun drawing to a close?
But when it It rains, all day, drumming slapping
Into the The ground as if to right it
Nothing fights back nor shirks away, just me
In my house, looking out
Next draft:
[check back later]