Sleeeeeping
Both today and yesterday were days full of work, sandwiched from waking to sleep. I know I didn’t post yesterday, and somehow I’m not sorry about it.
I LOVE my sleep. All (almost) 12 hours of it last night. I slept a lot during the first few years of my bereavement. It helped me in a couple of ways: I was more rested and I took care of myself in that way. I think that often, when people are stressed, they tend to lose themselves in their work. Not me. I lost myself in sleep. The other major development was my dream world. I had kept an intermittent dream journal, incorporated into my regular writing journal. But after SF, I made recording my dreams a dedicated effort. And I have fallen in as much love with my dreaming / sleeping self as I have with my waking / awake self–even more so on some days.
Then I read the self-help books and realized that sinking into sleep was a mode of coping and escape. And that I needed to face the waking moments too. So I have learned to balance. I make time to enjoy my sleep. I have work that allows me that. I record my dreams. I work and play hard during the day so that I am free from guilt and doubt when I finally close my eyes.
No poem tonight. I don’t have the time. Really. My pillow and my stuffed shark and my stuffed book worm and my stuffed teddy bear await me. Really.
Tags: Vigil for Akira